Up and Down

Living with cancer

That’s just how life goes – up and down, down and up. 

Thanks to everyone who reached out after my last post. The support I receive always surprises me, but it shouldn’t. There are tons of caring people out there who drop everything in their lives when they hear about someone in need. 

I’ve been doing better, then I wasn’t, then I was. Stress: so much fun. Everyone who is reading this knows what I mean. 

And so, we’re still waiting to see if this chemo is working. Waiting: so much fun. 

What do YOU do while you wait for any type of news? I’m learning to just focus on the day. 

There is a song that suggests we all should live like we’re dying. Sorry, that’s ridiculous – please don’t do that. I try to live like I’m living. 

I prefer the expression: make each day count. 

I also believe that we can’t always change our circumstances, but we can change the way we deal with it. 

That is helping me wait, knowing the chemo may not be working. It helps with the ups and downs. 

I try not to think of myself as someone dying from pancreatic cancer; I am trying to be someone living with pancreatic cancer. 

Yes, my husband and I did go cross country down the middle of the street yesterday in the snowstorm beating out the snow plows. So sweet. 

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This is my blog about living my life with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer—End stage. I joked about writing this imaginary blog when I spent a year on a treatment that allowed me only 10 days to feel well enough to live a fairly normal life. (Actually normal doesn’t even really exist for me anymore!) To earn those good days, I spent the previous 10 days living in post-chemo treatment physical hell – that also became normal in a perverse way. I’m also writing to honor those who are diagnosed with Stage Four Pancreatic Cancer. You might live longer than you expect and I want you to have someone who tells you what that’s like. There aren’t many role models for people with this because, well, they’re usually gone. So, this is for you. Maybe your journey will be similar to mine. Actually, it will probably be very different because “everyone is different.” Even still, maybe this will still be a bit of a guide.

One thought on “Up and Down”

  1. Hey there Kathy,

    Such good advice for all — focus on the day….make each day count…. and live like you are LIVING! Words I need to follow so I too enjoy more things like cross-country skiing down the middle of the road in a snow storm, and doing things in the moment, rather than postponing things ‘until tomorrow’. Thank you for your posts! Sending beams of well wishes and love!

    Liked by 1 person

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